PJB

I was watching a rerun of Star Trek the other night when I came across the uber-famous Borg catchphrase:

“You will be assimilated. Resistance is futile.”

Futility, now that’s a word that’s quite apt for today’s events. An “exercise in futility” is what some people say about the Comelec’s ongoing voter’s registration process.

If the government spent billions of Pesos to computerize the elections, then how much of it was allocated for improving the voter’s registration process? Isn’t this process supposed to be the foundation of a good electoral system?

The Comelec stated that they won’t extend the registration deadline, because they need time to sort out the registration database and come up with the final voter’s list for their regional offices – time, in the above context, is unfortunately measured in months.

It’s quite ironic that they heavily tout the new computerized election system as being capable of tallying all votes and declaring a winner in a span of just a few hours, yet they need a span of several months before the elections so that they can prepare the final voter’s list.

In hindsight, had a ‘proper’ voter’s registration system been in place, then people wouldn’t have procrastinated or put off registering for a later date – most of whom were either turned off by the extremely long queues or slow process, or turned down Comelec staff because they didn’t meet the voter’s cut-off criteria (a combination of cut-off period or number of registrants/application forms per day). Had a ‘proper’ voter’s registration system been in place, then there wouldn’t be a need for such a long preparation “lead time” between the voter’s registration deadline and the actual election date – ensuring a higher voter-to-population percentage turnout.

At any rate, late is late – no excuses and “pasensya na lang po, ‘no?” Let’s just hope that those who were able to register on time will vote wisely come election time.

Hey, you! Yes, you! What’s your excuse this time?

We know who you are and what you can do. We’ve heard your glorified, subliminal spiels so many times over the airwaves that we can’t help but hum a little ditty to the tune of your “jingle” just to pass time.

But it turns out that those jingles couldn’t save us, could they? You got so entrenched into our psyche that we subconsciously expected you to come to our aid when the floods and landslides came. And so we waited for hours, drenched and shivering in the torrential rain, helplessly marooned on top of our desolate rooftop atolls – humming that ubiquitous ditty of yours, hoping for the miracle of you.

We filled our sinking hearts with hope, buoyed by your promises. The minutes went by, as did the hours, and for some of us, days. We patiently waited for you for days. We had to, because we had no choice. But where were you, really? Were you off buying liquor somewhere else? Were you with aides planning your political sorties? Were you busy grandstanding, plotting your opponent’s political downfall? Or were you out of the country attending to personal matters?

Oh, and apart from those merciless storm trains, do you know what else rained down heavily on us these past few weeks? It rained excuses, nothing but poor, pathetic excuses.

Did we hear you right? Did you just say that you couldn’t come to us on time because you didn’t have any rubber boats? Oh, is it because you forgot to buy these things in spite of previous reminders and recommendations? And we could have sworn that you said you couldn’t stop the floods because key flood mitigating equipment weren’t maintained. Is this true?

Hey, are you still there? Or is your mind elsewhere, like at your Farm Town game at FB perhaps? Or are you itching to check out that twitter account of yours for new followers?

Speaking of itches, did that same itch cause you to pull that dam-water-release lever, or whatever device you call it, on-the-fly? So what’s your excuse there? Are you saying that, apart from the storms, deforestation was the only other culprit of the massive flooding that we experienced? And should we also accept your justification and excuse that it was perfectly okay for you to wait until the dam water levels were at critical levels before doing anything? Would you blame use if we thought that whoever made those operating procedures of yours must have been lacking in common sense, or must have been tipsy – nay, Drunken Master-drunk, when the guidelines were made?

Are you still there? Hey, we’re still talking to you. Please don’t take your eyes off that monitor. Do you have any idea how soaked we are with your excuses?

Look, we understand that probably half the world sent us relief. You literally begged for it and they responded because they knew that we were desperate, homeless and hungry. Now that the goods are here, what’s next? Where are they? Where are you? Are you telling us now that aid won’t coming our way anytime soon because you lack volunteers to sort and pack the goods? Will volunteers just pop up out of nowhere if they didn’t know that you actually needed help with manpower? Now really, tell us (*wink*), does it really take that long to sort out the imports from the locals (*wink* *wink*)? Does it really take that long to put “donated-by” stickers per item (*nudge*)? How long does it take to make you look good for that photo op prior to doling out goods (*wink*)? That long huh?

Geez, we’re absolutely dying to find out what sort of lame excuse you’ll come up with next time. Have you ever considered owning up to a mistake?

You know what? Let’s just wrap this off.

We’ve learned a lot from all of your incompetence and shortcomings. Had we known beforehand that these things would happen, in hindsight, we shouldn’t have elected you – we should’ve voted wisely! We should’ve been properly prepared for emergencies, at all times! We should’ve relied on ourselves first, and shouldn’t have relied too heavily on you or other people’s promises! We should’ve listened to warnings and we should’ve taken action! We should’ve done our part as citizens of this wonderful, beloved country! We could’ve…. made…. a difference…… Uhm, we, uhm……. we…………………..

Oh, uhm, okay. Our bad.

Bub, you’re off the hook – for now. Cheers! :)

Two words: Chip Tsao (or To Kit).

Writing a satire is one thing, but adding racism, bigotry and dumb wit into the mix is another matter.

Oh how the Filipino and Chinese blood in me churns.

One of the biggest news that has recently caught our nation’s and the pinoy blogosphere’s attention is about the mauling of a 56-year-old father and his 14-year-old son, over a golfing spat, by a family of what should have been our nation’s “civil servants.”

Bambee Dela Paz tells us her personal account of how her father and brother, Delfin and Bino Dela Paz, respectively, were mauled by the mayor of Masiu, Lanao del Sur, Nasser Pangandaman Jr., his brother, and their bodyguards at the Valley Golf and Country Club golf course in Antipolo. What’s even more disheartening is the fact that the brothers did it in the presence of their father, Department of Agrarian Reform (DAR) secretary, and government peace negotiator, Nasser Pangandaman Sr, who failed to stop the incident from escalating into a bloody mauling.

Regardless of who’s at fault, they should have exercised maximum tolerance and restraint befitting their positions as public service officials. True gentlemen never beat up children, let alone gang up on one.

So now, how can the secretary convince us that he can effectively manage our nation’s agrarian reform situation, as the DAR chief, if, as a father, he can’t show us that he can “reform” his own sons? And how can he effectively represent the government as a representative peace negotiator if he can’t even broker peace for a simple golf etiquette misunderstanding? He should have done a “Mayor Alfredo Lim” and come out a bigger man.

It appears that the meaning of the terms PEACE and REFORM might have been misunderstood by some parties.

Golf is supposed to be a gentleman’s game. True to what Bambee has stated, the world has indeed gone crazy.

What do you think?

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