PJB

Hey, you! Yes, you! What’s your excuse this time?

We know who you are and what you can do. We’ve heard your glorified, subliminal spiels so many times over the airwaves that we can’t help but hum a little ditty to the tune of your “jingle” just to pass time.

But it turns out that those jingles couldn’t save us, could they? You got so entrenched into our psyche that we subconsciously expected you to come to our aid when the floods and landslides came. And so we waited for hours, drenched and shivering in the torrential rain, helplessly marooned on top of our desolate rooftop atolls – humming that ubiquitous ditty of yours, hoping for the miracle of you.

We filled our sinking hearts with hope, buoyed by your promises. The minutes went by, as did the hours, and for some of us, days. We patiently waited for you for days. We had to, because we had no choice. But where were you, really? Were you off buying liquor somewhere else? Were you with aides planning your political sorties? Were you busy grandstanding, plotting your opponent’s political downfall? Or were you out of the country attending to personal matters?

Oh, and apart from those merciless storm trains, do you know what else rained down heavily on us these past few weeks? It rained excuses, nothing but poor, pathetic excuses.

Did we hear you right? Did you just say that you couldn’t come to us on time because you didn’t have any rubber boats? Oh, is it because you forgot to buy these things in spite of previous reminders and recommendations? And we could have sworn that you said you couldn’t stop the floods because key flood mitigating equipment weren’t maintained. Is this true?

Hey, are you still there? Or is your mind elsewhere, like at your Farm Town game at FB perhaps? Or are you itching to check out that twitter account of yours for new followers?

Speaking of itches, did that same itch cause you to pull that dam-water-release lever, or whatever device you call it, on-the-fly? So what’s your excuse there? Are you saying that, apart from the storms, deforestation was the only other culprit of the massive flooding that we experienced? And should we also accept your justification and excuse that it was perfectly okay for you to wait until the dam water levels were at critical levels before doing anything? Would you blame use if we thought that whoever made those operating procedures of yours must have been lacking in common sense, or must have been tipsy – nay, Drunken Master-drunk, when the guidelines were made?

Are you still there? Hey, we’re still talking to you. Please don’t take your eyes off that monitor. Do you have any idea how soaked we are with your excuses?

Look, we understand that probably half the world sent us relief. You literally begged for it and they responded because they knew that we were desperate, homeless and hungry. Now that the goods are here, what’s next? Where are they? Where are you? Are you telling us now that aid won’t coming our way anytime soon because you lack volunteers to sort and pack the goods? Will volunteers just pop up out of nowhere if they didn’t know that you actually needed help with manpower? Now really, tell us (*wink*), does it really take that long to sort out the imports from the locals (*wink* *wink*)? Does it really take that long to put “donated-by” stickers per item (*nudge*)? How long does it take to make you look good for that photo op prior to doling out goods (*wink*)? That long huh?

Geez, we’re absolutely dying to find out what sort of lame excuse you’ll come up with next time. Have you ever considered owning up to a mistake?

You know what? Let’s just wrap this off.

We’ve learned a lot from all of your incompetence and shortcomings. Had we known beforehand that these things would happen, in hindsight, we shouldn’t have elected you – we should’ve voted wisely! We should’ve been properly prepared for emergencies, at all times! We should’ve relied on ourselves first, and shouldn’t have relied too heavily on you or other people’s promises! We should’ve listened to warnings and we should’ve taken action! We should’ve done our part as citizens of this wonderful, beloved country! We could’ve…. made…. a difference…… Uhm, we, uhm……. we…………………..

Oh, uhm, okay. Our bad.

Bub, you’re off the hook – for now. Cheers! :)

Yesterday was another interesting day in Makati City, highlighted by another bungled ‘coup’ attempt, mutiny, rebellion, standoff, or what-have-you, led by Senator Antonio Trillanes IV and Brigadier General Danilo Lim, which was staged at the posh Manila Peninsula hotel.

‘Tis true, the government has lost the support of a great number of Filipinos, mostly induced by the recent spate of scandals, questions on legitimacy and alleged constitutional and human rights violations. True still is the fact that the opposition is slowly gaining ground in its attempts to wrest control of the government leadership. But whatever momentum the opposition has gained went for naught simply because they can’t put their act together. Haven’t they ever heard of the ‘team building’ concept?

Oh well, are there other lessons to be learned? Hell, yes!

And some of these are:

1. Never make bookings in any of Makati’s premier hotels. Settling for three-star hotels or motels will do.

2. Make sure you have enough fuel in your tanks. Curfew-induced traffic can quickly deplete your car’s fuel and trigger your temper. We have an opposition’s senseless action begetting a government’s equally senseless reaction

3. Make sure to empty your bladder before driving. Again, curfew-induced traffic can be hell for anyone with a full bladder. It’s sort of a ‘piss poor’ drive after a ‘piss poor’ coup.

4. We now have new ways to use plastic cable ties aside from managing computer cables – Yes, steel handcuffs are obsolete – talk about Filipino ingenuity. Those bondage and S&M couples definitely learned a thing or two and added a new toy to their arsenal.

5. When applying for a building insurance, remember to add in a clause stipulating coverage from tanks or assault vehicles barging into your facility. This is what I call a true ‘Urban Assault’. Shock and awe baby! NOT!

After weeks of trying to make do with only one functional car headlight, I’ve finally been able to replace the defective bulb by myself! And I never knew that replacing it would be very easy! Ha!

I’ve been trying to figure out when to squeeze in a bulb replacement schedule with our car shop but failed to do so for quite some time because of our hectic work schedule and family commitments.

As an IT consultant, I’ve been very confident when it comes to tinkering with complicated server and IT infrastructure systems, but the helpless newbie in me prevails when it comes to fixing my own car.

And so after finally buying a new pair of headlamps for “Puti” I finally tried my luck on the thing.

After reading the car manual, I realized that replacing the bulb wasn’t that complicated. And so when it came to actually doing it, it was easy as pie, and I couldn’t believe why it took me that long to do the dang thing myself.

It was just a matter of opening the hood, finding the lamp’s location, removing the power source connector, removing the rubber gasket holding the bulb, unlocking the bulb clamp, removing the defective bulb, putting in the new one, putting everything back in reverse order, and viola! you’re done!

Now the only thing left to do is to replace the other good headlight, since the new one that I placed was way brighter. Heheh. :)

Cheers!